Li Meijin: children addicted to mobile phones? Don't fight, don't scold, these three moves solve from the root!
Life is like tea 2021-02-23 05:37:32

 Li Meijin : Kids are addicted to cell phones ? No beating, no scolding , this 3 The solution is from the root !

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Finding kids addicted to games , Most parents can't calm down .

before , A paragraph on Weibo “ Parents rush into the game group and yell ” This video has caused a heated discussion all over the Internet .

The mother found that her children often go to bed late , It's not about learning , It's serious addiction to mobile games . There's even a wechat group devoted to games , Every day is not a game , Just talking about games .

Watching children's academic performance plummet , Mom is in a hurry , Angry into the wechat group :

“ You really do harm to people. Your group !”

“ You killed my son !”


 Li Meijin : Kids are addicted to cell phones ? No beating, no scolding , this 3 The solution is from the root !

( picture source : The Internet )


A tearful complaint , Listen, it's heartbreaking . Many parents have left messages : There is one at home “ Internet addicts ”, What should I do ?

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Professor Li Meijin, who has been studying teenagers' psychological problems for a long time , Once on the Internet Addiction of teenagers , Have done professional research .

Professor Li Meijin thinks that , Solving Internet Addiction , The first thing to do is to figure out the causes of addiction :

Many parents are addicted to the Internet when they see their children , All scolded :“ This online game is too hateful !”

In the wrong , The Internet is the fuse , There's a wire in the fuse , The real dynamite is not the Internet , Dynamite is your child's psychological problem .

Once a child is addicted to the Internet , There must be psychological problems . The question is simple : Feel single , People will be obsessed with .


Actually , Whether it's the Internet or the mobile phone , They are all products of the times , It's like 70 When I was a child, I was addicted to martial arts novels 、80 It's like being addicted to video games when I was a child , Addiction is the appearance , The real essence is inner emptiness .

therefore , Blindly resist the network, treat the symptoms but not the root cause , Some parents cut off the Internet 、 Smashed the cell phone , Children are often forced to act more violently : Stealing money to buy a cell phone 、 It's game money 、 Hunger strike , Even threatening to jump off a building .

We received a message from a junior high school student , The lines are full of accusations :


 Li Meijin : Kids are addicted to cell phones ? No beating, no scolding , this 3 The solution is from the root !

( picture source : Backstage message )


Professor Li Meijin made a metaphor , Some people are lovelorn , In order to get rid of the pain in reality , I became addicted to alcohol . Empathy , Children have Internet addiction , It must also be some pain in escaping from reality .

Diverse interests , A child with a full heart will not indulge in the Internet , Because he doesn't have to go to the virtual world to find happiness .

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In the face of children who already have Internet addiction , Just confiscate mobile phones and computers , Can't solve the problem fundamentally .

Professor Li Meijin advocates starting from the psychological level , Conquer the heart wall of children :

1、 Close the psychological distance , Get the child's approval

Internet addicts are mainly 11-25 Young people at the age of , Their common characteristic is “ There is no ideal , Be hostile to your parents , Don't love learning ”.

When talking to them , If you talk to your kids directly about surfing the Internet 、 The harm of the game , It's bound to arouse the child's antipathy .

Choose the topic they are interested in , Specific analysis of specific problems , After gaining children's approval, they gradually transition to the central issue .

We often say , The first step to solving the problem is to understand , Understanding is the only way to communicate , So as to find out the source of the problem .

Instead of throwing the phone in a rage 、 Hit the kids , It's better to put down your airs , Talk to the child “ What kind of game are you playing , I'm also interested in ”.

You want to educate your children , You have to do it first —— Children are willing to tell you .

2、 After confirming the identity , Subtly moving emotions

Among these children , Many have fallen out with their families , The relationship with parents is in a stalemate .

At this time, in a detailed conversation with the child , Always use “ Do you think parents did it wrong ”“ They do it to love you or to hurt you ” Other questions , Let children reflect on whether their attitude towards parents is right or wrong .

A lot of times we always use the sentence “ I'm for you ” To educate children , Standing on the moral high ground , Children can't refute it , But I'm not convinced .

The kids don't understand , How we do it for their good .

In a nutshell , It will only make children feel perfunctory , in the course of time , Just as “ The Wolf is coming ”, Until it doesn't work anymore .

3、 Emotions move again , From parents to learning

When children realize their faults , After sprouting guilt for parents , There's always the idea of giving back to your parents .

At this time, we should grasp the emotional tendency of children , Transfer the children's identification with their parents to their study , So as to stimulate children's interest in learning , Encourage them to read more books that are meaningful to them , Take part in more interesting activities .

Children are especially addicted to the Internet during the holidays , Because there are no classmates or friends around them at this time , There's a gap in emotion , The child turns his attention to the mobile phone , Looking for feelings in the virtual world .

Sometimes it's not just the game , It's leaving the screen and the kids don't know what to do .

We should cultivate more children's interests , Enrich children's spiritual world , Transfer children's attention to more meaningful activities .

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After the psychological problems are solved , The next step is to cultivate habits .

Rome wasn't built in a day , The elimination of Internet addiction is not urgent , Parents should be patient 、 careful , More confidence .

1、 Parents don't play mobile phones in front of their children

Every move of parents , They're all children's imitations .

When we complain about kids' addiction to cell phones , I often forget that adults always hold their cell phones , Sometimes I neglect the company of my children .


 Li Meijin : Kids are addicted to cell phones ? No beating, no scolding , this 3 The solution is from the root !

( picture source : Vision China )


When a child sends you “ I want you to play with me ”,“ I'm talking to you ” When the signal is , Please try to put down your mobile phone , Listen to your child , Seriously accompany him .

2、 Don't use your cell phone as a reward for your child

Some parents try to motivate their children , They tend to make promises ——“ If you do well in the exam, you will be rewarded with a mobile phone ”, Or say “ Do a few more questions to play a game ”.

These methods seem to save energy , In fact, it's killing the children . This bad incentive , It will only make children less interested in learning , Finish your homework and play with your mobile phone .

3、 Take part in outdoor activities with your children

As long as parents have time , Take the kids out as much as you can . Take part in outdoor activities . have a stroll in the park 、 running 、 Jump rope 、 To play basketball …… Let children have more time to breathe fresh air at the same time , It's also a way to release his energy .

Children's nature is to play , It's just that the smart screen restricts children's liveliness and play .

The happiness electronic products bring to children is temporary rather than permanent , Not from the heart of the kind of happiness . When children are happy in the real world , There is no mind to indulge in electronic products ?

4、 Before going to bed 1 No contact with electronic devices for hours

Using a cell phone before going to bed every night can interfere with sleep quality . Using a cell phone before going to bed can inhibit the secretion of melatonin , So as to reduce the time of deep sleep .

in fact , Deep sleep is restorative to the human body , be conducive to “ Clean brain space ”, Consolidate learning outcomes .

Before going to bed 1 Don't touch your cell phone for hours , reading , Sleep faster .

At the end



There was a popular saying among parents :

“ Trying to destroy a child , Just give him a cell phone .”

Actually , Cell phones are good , The Internet is good , It's not as terrible as we think .

They are the product of the development of the times , It's essentially a tool , It's not a monster .

It's up to the parents 、 How teachers and society guide children to use .

Use it properly , It can be a child's friend , Improper use , It can become a sharp weapon to kill children .

We should let children see , Besides playing with cell phones , There's so much more to it 、 Interesting things are worth doing , It's better than throwing a cell phone 、 Beating children is more effective .

In the face of cell phone addiction 、 Internet addicted kids , What good way do you have ? Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section , Let's study together , Help children together !



? author : Miss Xiaoyu , You are a columnist of excellent courses , Zhihu's family education articles highly praise the author . Pictures from Internet and visual China .


 Li Meijin : Kids are addicted to cell phones ? No beating, no scolding , this 3 The solution is from the root !

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